My panic attack series

ATTACK

Am going to tell you a story that will change your mind, a story of its own kind, listen carefully because this story is a story no one has ever told about.

We all love stories that start with a simple person who later turns up a brave, strong hero. That’s all a lie, mostly.

But this is not that story, this story starts with no one but a verse. This is a story that scared me.

A NORMAL DAY:

As all days it starts with a colorful wonderful morning, as we know we can’t tell what is going to happen that day or the next day. I got up as usual; a normal day, prepared, dressed up, had tea and headed to school as a great man once said with great power comes great responsibilities but that’s for the brave souls because I once believed in it.

On reaching school I meet my friends normally; it’s fancy, talking as usual. Time ticks and we head in for a lecture, it was an early morning class. During the lecture, the teacher asked the students to present their work to their fellow students, which was one of my favorite moments.

Two of the students headed up and presented their work and it was my turn to present. I headed up, upfront of the class as all the presentations we had often done.

THE BEGINNING:

Now just so you know I was in my second semester and we often presented work to our fellow students on our lectures.

But this time something felt really so different about me, it started with a feeling of warmth then my heart beats were getting higher and higher as I opened the work I was to present.

I started getting scared, my breath tested so different, felt dizzy and I continued because I in person wasn’t seeing anything scary or that could frighten me and neither did I want to submit to the feeling

I held the marker I was to use to write on the white board and I tipped it on the board, wrote the title as my handwriting was getting weird, I had not noticed that my hands were shaking.

Luckily, that day one of the students noticed my wheezing breath when I was getting an asthmatic attack, so he rushed with his inhaler to the front and gave it to me. Great appreciation to you.

After a minute or two I started feeling better and ended the day well.

EPISODE ONE:

As usual, the following day I got up from bed not as normal, this time I was scared not because I woke up as I would usually wake up but because I woke up yelling for help in a demy low voice that in my mind I felt like I was yelling out so loud. I felt I was being choked to death.

When I woke up and my eyes stabilized a bit, looking for eyeglasses, I sat on my bed unsettled, feeling scared, very frightened that I could filter even the noise outside the gate where my room is enclosed. I left the bed pretending everything was fine, prepared, Started making breakfast as my hands were shaking , spilling sugar off the cup, held the cup in my hand and it slid, dropped down and poured hot tea on my feet. I did not feel the pain or even noticed the hot tea had poured on my feet. Then suddenly I stopped feeling scared, picked up the broken cup, dropped it in my bin in the room; prepared and headed to school.

EPISODE TWO:

This was the time I noticed there was something different about the attacks and feelings I was getting to the asthmatic feelings I get during cold weather or other asthmatic attacks. Going to school, I usually get on a motorcycle from a stage down a walkable distance from my place. On this day, I walked down to grab a motorcyclist to take me to school, when I arrived at the stage I felt scared to sit on the motorcycle, having a sensational feeling of death.

I turned back and headed back to my place to get some sleep. I later got up and went back to the stage, this time, got a taxi and headed to town at work. Just to let you know, I was studying as well as working in my free time.

EVERYTHING CHANGED:

During work, I usually get clients who have problems with their gadgets like; phones, laptops and other technologies; I am a technician, a Philomath or self-taught (Autodidactic), it’s acceptable to entitle yourself in a specific field or expertise you are in.

So, a client arrives with a phone that had a mouth piece complication and I received it and opened to fix. I got a tweezer to solder the mouthpiece back, because its connectors to the motherboard had cut loose. As soon as I held the wire that was loose my hands started shaking again, I stopped and called my partner, who is also my mentor to assist me and fix the phone. The client paid and left, I explained to him the problem I had and he immediately called a motorcycle that took me to a nearby clinic that supported my medical insurance card. Thanks to my partner/mentor/brother for the first support to the discovery of the problem.

THE DOCTOR:

I arrived at the hospital, headed to the counter and gave in my details. I was guided to sit down at the waiting reception where a doctor later came out and called me to his office.

With the Doctor, I explained my problem and he prescribed some medication including enough rest. To him, it was just stress that was affecting me. I received the medicine, headed back home, and rested for the day.

LOSING MYSELF:

The story after hospital is always, “feeling better”. Indeed, I felt better after hospital till it was time to sleep. the feeling faded away and as soon as I put off the lights and covered myself to sleep.

I loved to sleep a lot, like literally saying, “Sleep is that sweet time that feels like you’re having a chocolate as many notice, it tests really nice that you wouldn’t want the test to end.

That’s how sleep felt to me till things changed; my eyes refused deliberately to close, my senses entered a super power mod. I could not only hear my breath but could hear my heartbeats, so loud that I could not filter out the blood veins pumping the blood.

I was not only hearing things close to me, but even the electricity that was passing through the walls where they were fixed, air bouncing on my door, the gate and all my neighbor’s doors. It seemed nice to have some super natural power and abilities, but not in such a situation where you would not want to make any sudden movement of your body that would limit your breath. You can feel your weight and the mattress being pressed by your body as you are having hundreds of imaginations of deaths or ideas of how you are going to die the next minute. Either the bed breaking up into two parts and pressing you in the middle, or the ceiling falling on you, oxygen getting done from the room, the bed sheets holding you that you won’t breath, etc. and all the time feeling so hot and sweating.

On the day, I left bed and turned on the lights, sat down and opened my laptop and started watching movies till morning and followed my usual routine; head to school, work and back, and it became the norm of my life. Every day that passed, I failed to sleep. I stopped sleeping completely for days, for weeks. Yes, I would doze a little bit at work and wake up fine because I was sleeping on a desk.

THE REAL TWIST — “PSYCHOLOGICAL BREAK DOWN PRONOUNCED”

I continued going to the hospital and explaining to the doctor my problem, “the persistent sleeplessness” which continued for a year and some few months. However, this time and on this fateful day, the Dr. referred me to a psychiatrist in another branch of the same hospital.

As you know, stories don’t usually talk in days but seconds and minutes. This time I felt like the doctors would not really understand my problem, so I saw the psychiatrist. Yes, I didn’t stop going to the hospital, I continued until I got annoyed. Every time the psychiatrist was referring to my condition to stress yet in me, I wasn’t stressed at all because I didn’t have anything big that would stress me or had any emotional caps locked on.

MY RESCUE

As I was yelling off my voice, a doctor passing by stopped to listen and asked me to explain to him my experience, I explained to him and he is the one who unlocked my path to treatment and skepticism.

He declared to us (my psychiatric Dr. and myself) that what I was experiencing is called a panic episode. He then asked me how long it had taken, which of course at the time was a year and some seven months. He took over my medical management. Thanks to God for bringing this Dr. at the exact minute.

He asked me to attend in his office for about a week and at the end of the week, he informed me that I had a panic disorder. He ran many tests including questions and gave me medication to reduce the panic a little with sleeping pills to take only twice a week. The pills were to force me to have some rest, though the prescription was once a day before sleep but he warned me that they are addictive. I must say that the pills helped me, I had some rest, and wasn’t getting so scared and afraid as before.

SCIENCE IN FIELD:

I didn’t inform you about myself before, but since they are relevant to the story, among the things that describe me as a nerd is that I am a science enthusiast. As all science suggests, I evaluate, study, compare, understand and then make a conclusion that is not absolute to a hundred now, but let’s put on that lab coat and get nerdy.

WHAT’S A PANIC ATTACK?

A panic attack is a sudden episode of intense fear that triggers severe physical reactions when there is no real danger or apparent cause.

WHAT’S A PANIC DISORDER?

Panic disorder is a type of anxiety disorder. It causes panic attacks, which are sudden feelings of terror when there is no real danger.

SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS:

You may feel as if you are losing control. You may also have physical symptoms, such as

• Fast heartbeat
• Chest or stomach pain
• Breathing difficulty
• Weakness or dizziness
• Sweating
• Feeling hot or a cold chill
• Tingly or numb hands

WHAT IS IT ABOUT THIS PANIC ATTACKS?

Panic attacks can happen to anybody, anytime, anywhere, and without prior warning. You may live in fear of another attack and may avoid places where you have had an attack. For some people, fear takes over their lives and they cannot leave their homes.

Panic disorder is more common in women than men, but this doesn’t mean men don’t get it. It usually starts when people are young adults. Sometimes it starts when a person is under a lot of stress. Most people get better with treatment. Therapy can show you how to recognize and change your thinking patterns before they lead to a panic. Medicines can also help.

FAMILY AND FRIENDS:

Family; these are the only people who will accept you for what you are, love you and will always be there for you. While friends are the people who like you and have a lot in common with you and are there to motivate you in life.

I wasn’t so friendly and open minded or willing to talk to many people because every time I tried to inform those close to me they never understood or took it as a serious problem.

I informed my parents about my conditions later on in time. I got to sit down and talked to my mother who provided me with a link to a write up that helped me get some ideas on “panic attacks”.

But, before you conclude, no it didn’t cure me. The idea and the meaning I interpreted from the document weren’t making a claim to cure but it helped me understand how to prevent an attack and how to manage the panics.

TAKING CONTROL:

A panic is fear that is set by your mind as an informatory defense from harm or danger, which is very important to us humans. It is what helps us decide either to risk or withdraw from a risk.

But it’s a “disease” when it’s continuously happening without any “threat”, in a layman’s interpretation.

What helped me take control isn’t necessarily going to help you, it isn’t guaranteed to work for you either. But I am telling you how I took control of my panics so that you can get away to take control of your panics.

It seems hard to control it before you control it, and I would still say this again, I wasn’t cured from the panic disorder but I don’t get panic attacks anymore, even when I am in a big crowd, or watching a scary movie, I now sleep without sleeping pills very well.

IT’S ME AGAIN:

The first step in overcoming your panic disorder symptoms is to understand what is happening in your body when you experience an attack. Gather knowledge about the disorder and work out your underlying triggers; that can be a good starting point for dealing with the condition.

Me; I failed to understand everything, why or what I was afraid of except a few; people, sleep and in addition my bed, I was also afraid of water and would get annoyed that I would at times fail to type or write. After understanding this, I figured out how to write as I was having a panic; pretend the person in front of me is talking nonsense, so it’s funny to me in my mind and it’s okay if you don’t know, because I also still don’t know why I got scared.

• ACTING AS A TRICK STAR:

Every time I start getting panicked, I think that I am feeling hungry or thirsty and go get water to drink or get something and eat.

How does it help me?

As I was having a panic attack, and thinking that I am feeling hungry or thirsty at the same time, the panic attack actually stops. In this sense, I trick my brain to think about something else that it buys into it and forgets about the information it wanted to bring down to me. Interesting, isn’t it?

• HAVE AN ENVIRONMENT:

I got headsets and downloaded some lovely songs that are not emotional but musical and every time I am not doing anything and alone in my room I put on the headset and play this music and not only listen to it but feel the music, dance, jump and enjoy the music that I even grasp the lyrics of the song in my head. When I am walking somewhere alone and don’t feel safe, fearing I might get knocked, I put the headset on and start singing the songs and even snap my fingers as I walk.

Every time I do this, it keeps my brain busy that I don’t concentrate on the sounds and movements of cars that might cause me fear leading to a panic.

• ACTING ENGLISH:

What I mean by this is simply something I do every day at a particular time of the day. I usually drink a bottle of juice or soda every day between lunch and mid-afternoon.

What does this help me with, the brain is trained to become whatever you want “In this sense I mean things that are possible”, and this keeps my brain remembering what I am supposed to do at that time hence limiting my divergent thoughts.

• I WASN’T ALONE:

I wasn’t alone, there are 7,577,130,400 plus people on earth and 4.39billion of them are internet users; you might be among the internet users too, but even if you’re not, there are approximately three friends of yours who would like to have talks.

Communities helped me a lot because I wasn’t there to explain myself or have comfort, but I was in there because I picked interest in a lot of the talks and jokes. Not only did I have a community to communicate with and have talks but I also had the internet and YouTube that had channels with very interesting topics to watch, laugh and enjoy. Watching a series with a friend is actually better, mostly comedy series. Happiness and a feeling of community is the concept here.

• Recognize that you’re having a panic attack

By recognizing that you’re having a panic attack instead of a heart attack, you can remind yourself that this is temporary, it will pass, and that you’re OK.

Take away the fear that you may be dying or that impending doom is looming, both symptoms of panic attacks. This can allow you to focus on other techniques to reduce your symptoms.

• Close your eyes

Some panic attacks come from triggers that overwhelm you. If you’re in a fast-paced environment with a lot of stimuli, this can feed your panic attack.

To reduce the stimuli, close your eyes during your panic attack. This can block out any extra stimuli and make it easier to focus on your breathing.

• Find a focus object

Some people find it helpful to find a single object to focus all of their attention on during a panic attack. Pick one object in clear sight and consciously note everything possible about it.

For example, you may notice how the hand on the clock jerks when it ticks, and that it’s slightly lopsided. Describe the patterns, color, shapes, and size of the object to yourself. Focus all of your energy on this object, and your panic symptoms may subside. Personally, I used a coin to play with by flipping it around my fingers.

• Learn relaxation techniques

Relaxation techniques can help to calm your body down, relaxing your muscles can help you to think more rationally. Relaxation strategies can also halt the production of stress hormones such as adrenalin, which proves that we are not in any danger.

• Calm breathing

When we are anxious, we tend to breathe faster, or even hyperventilate. This is commonly called over breathing, and it can cause us to feel lightheaded and dizzy, and even more anxious as a result. Calm breathing can help to reduce some of these physical symptoms. Try practicing calm breathing twice per day for at least 5 minutes.

• Inhale slowly through the nose for 4 seconds.
• Pause for 1 or 2 seconds.
• Exhale slowly through your mouth for 4 seconds.
• Pause for a couple of seconds before taking the next breath.

Calm breathing regulates your intake of oxygen and prevents dizziness, lightheadedness, and tingling sensations that are connected with over breathing. You don’t have to intend to do it, just relax and enjoy it.

Don’t concentrate on work or something you do every day, the main thing is to be happy, enjoy yourself, like, love and want yourself, and even if you feel like you can’t do it; remember you’re reading a book that is either a poem, novel, theme, verses, science book, a song with very many stanzas and chorus that don’t much with the tunes, a podcast, life experience etc. I don’t even know and you’re still reading it.

Now you see there is no hero in this story, but there’s you who’s reading this story and has hard an experience as I had and felt like you’re a scared person that made you feel unfriendly and felt like you’re a weak scared person but you probably don’t know that fear is that aspect of information that our brains provide us with that help us make the hard decisions. While fear is what makes the hero not brave, but because they were afraid and decided to either run or defend themselves. Now, I am not telling you to defend yourself from something, but that you’re the hero of yourself.

“Without justification to conclude, apply skepticism and rationalize all your positions since this will give you the opportunity to evaluate and source out the possible and impossible probabilities”.

• In Conclusion :

Fear is an unpleasant, often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger; it’s a gripping horrible feeling that seizes the entire and your brain begs you to flee from harm .

We all know what fear feels like because we have been feeling it our entire lives and we all want to be free of it but as you have learnt , (A) it’s not possible and (B) if you could erase fear from your life it would be a terrible mistake .

As my introduction of my story , I talked of the fearless warrior who confront the unknown as the most ancient we have the stories from Mesopotamia Gilgamesh , Shaka Zulu of South Africa , the Kabaka’s of Buganda , The chiefs of the Luo tribes , Acholi and Iteso fought with no hesitation or demonstration of fear and some are said to have cheated death and even the modern comic book stories and movies we watch of the characters draping themselves in their worst fear in order to weaponize it .

Fear and mastery of it has been the permanent mainstay in human culture. It’s one of our oldest and most persistent enemies and we all carry it with us in some way every single day .

Studies have shown that Humans can teach themselves to be afraid of anything and vice versa teach themselves to fear non

The mind is a powerful place and what you feed it can affect you in a powerful way so it’s not always safe so be mindful of what you feed your mind.